Your Spiritual Thermostat
I'm reading a great book right now by Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert who has studied in depth over 2,000 married couples over 2 decades of research. In his book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail he highlights a quality in strong marriages - an internal thermostat.
For a marriage to work, he concludes that there needs to be a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. Couples with strong marriages have an internal gauge that can measure, unconsciously, this ratio. If there is too much negativity during a given period of time, they pump in more positive interactions. Surprisingly, healthy marriages also gauge the other way. If there are too many positive experiences, motivation to strengthen the marriage dwindles. Thus, in times when things are going really well, sometimes couples will find themselves arguing about something that doesn't even matter, just to have a negative experience, to motivate more positive interactions, and so keep the general 5 to 1 balance - fascinating.
Does this happen to our spiritual relationship with God too?
When you're really struggling through a difficult life issue, do you find yourself in God's word, on your knees praying or seeking guidance from a spiritual mentor? Conversely, are there times when things are going really well, and the same old doubts emerge and cause you to dig in a little deeper for awhile to strengthen your faith?
I am blessed with great parents who have been successful with a long-term, healthy marriage. They have implanted in me through my own observation a pretty good thermostat in my marriage. Likewise, they modeled a healthy relationship with God. This concept makes me all the more motivated to be the kind of example to my kids with these two important areas of life so that one day they will naturally pursue a strong relationship with their spouse, and with their creator.
For what other areas of life does this internal thermostat apply?
Do you struggle with your spiritual thermostat?
May God bless you richly today.
Daniel
For a marriage to work, he concludes that there needs to be a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. Couples with strong marriages have an internal gauge that can measure, unconsciously, this ratio. If there is too much negativity during a given period of time, they pump in more positive interactions. Surprisingly, healthy marriages also gauge the other way. If there are too many positive experiences, motivation to strengthen the marriage dwindles. Thus, in times when things are going really well, sometimes couples will find themselves arguing about something that doesn't even matter, just to have a negative experience, to motivate more positive interactions, and so keep the general 5 to 1 balance - fascinating.
Does this happen to our spiritual relationship with God too?
When you're really struggling through a difficult life issue, do you find yourself in God's word, on your knees praying or seeking guidance from a spiritual mentor? Conversely, are there times when things are going really well, and the same old doubts emerge and cause you to dig in a little deeper for awhile to strengthen your faith?
I am blessed with great parents who have been successful with a long-term, healthy marriage. They have implanted in me through my own observation a pretty good thermostat in my marriage. Likewise, they modeled a healthy relationship with God. This concept makes me all the more motivated to be the kind of example to my kids with these two important areas of life so that one day they will naturally pursue a strong relationship with their spouse, and with their creator.
For what other areas of life does this internal thermostat apply?
Do you struggle with your spiritual thermostat?
May God bless you richly today.
Daniel
posted by Daniel Cherry at 7:41 AM
1 Comments:
Daniel, it's so good to hear from you! Thanks for your kind words. I miss our trips to Memphis together, and just heard from Mac Sandlin this week. I hope ministry is going well for you, tell Rachel and your kiddo's we said hi! Love you guys!
Post a Comment
<< Home